Plan 9 from Outer Space | Nightmare Theatre | WSRE

Plan 9 from Outer Space | Nightmare Theatre | WSRE


– [Narrator] This original
WSRE presentation is made possible by viewers like you. Thank you. (lightening strikes) ♪ One day the
devil came to him ♪ ♪ For he was a minor demon ♪ Asked him to
torture some humans ♪ ♪ With his two friends in tow ♪ Mittens and El Sapo ♪ The Baron Mondo Von Doren ♪ On Nightmare Theatre – I get it, I messed up. But why are you
stickin’ me down here? No one’s used this place
since Baywatch nights was canceled. What do you mean? We’re on? I gotta go. Ah, greetings my friends and
welcome to Nightmare Theatre. I am, as always, your host,
the Baron Mondo Von Doren, and I’m here with our
director Mittens the Werewolf broadcasting live from
Hell’s half kilowatt here in the Underworld. You’ll have to excuse us. We’re just getting settled in. New assignment from
the guy downstairs, and of course I’m waiting
for my no good man servant, El Sapo de Tempesto to
arrive with our movie for this evening. – Hey boss, here I am. Man, alive, am I tired. It’s been such a long
day of moving in and cleaning up this place. – Yeah, that’s all well
and good, but can’t you see that the cameras are ready? Can’t you see that the
microphones are ready? Of course, as usual, the only
thing that’s not ready is you. What film have you dug
out for the humanoids to watch tonight? – I’m sorry boss,
it slipped my mind. I’ve been so busy
with all my new duties here at the station. – You have one job. Luckily for you, when
I was going through my predecessor’s desk, I
found some old film canisters. I have no idea what’s
on them, but Mittens has spooled them up, so while El
Sapo digs down in the muck to find us a movie, why
don’t you folks watch whatever this is. (dramatic suspenseful music) There is power enough to seize
or destroy the world! Take this girl away! Come on, lady! Captain West, I want to
know the connection between this plane crash and Doctor
Zorka’s death. Perhaps you’d
tell me – Alright, arrest her! It must work! As the Phantom, there is
nothing that I cannot do!
(screams) (screams) Remotely controlled,
it could crush all oppostion and make me the most
powerful man in the world! (gasps) (screams) (brakes squeal) (laughing) (dramatic music) (electrical sounds) (dramatic music) Hey Rob, look! We’re on a down grade,
keep her rolling! Let’s ditch this bus before
we all get blown to bits! – Hi, I was hoping
that brief interlude would give El Sapo time
to return with a movie, but alas, we’re still standing
here waiting for him and… – Boss, Mittens,
I found the movie, but you guys are
not gonna like it. – What do you mean, Sapo? – I could not find anything
suitable down in the vault. But then, one of the
rats whispered to me that there was a film
hidden down there, and man, was it tough to get to. I had to use a metal
detector to find it. It was buried in an old
coffee can under the floor. – So you’re saying this
movie is some kinda treasure? – I would not say that. See for yourself, boss. – Oh, oh no. – Oh, yes. Tonight’s film is Plan
9 from Outer Space. It’s awful, I know, but
it is the best I could do. – Which isn’t saying much, but even for you,
this is a disaster. Aw well, we solider on. – I’m gonna start to pray, and
Mittens and I, he’ll join me. We’ll pray our way outta this. – (exhale) Tonight’s film
is Plan 9 from Outer Space. Notoriously known as the
worst film ever made, written and directed by the
author of austerity, Ed Wood, Plan 9 is a convoluted tale of
aliens that resurrect corpses remotely in a
cardboard graveyard to terrorize the living by
walking slowly towards them. It’s terrifying! – Now that is a fiendish plot. – And that’s the closest
I can come to this movie actually having a plot or story. The film stars Bela
Lugosi, sort of. – What do you mean
sort of, boss? – Well, Wood had made friends with the fading horror
icon Bela Lugosi. The pair worked together
on Wood’s previous films Bride of the Monster
and Glen or Glenda. Don’t ask. Anyway, Wood managed to film
a few minutes of Lugosi acting completely unrelated to anything
in Plan 9, unfortunately. And then Lugosi died. So Wood used the footage
to cobble together a sort of opening for the film and used a few shots of
Lugosi in full Dracula regalia as one of his reanimated
corpses in the film. For scenes that required
Lugosi’s character to interact with other actors, Ed simply employed his
wife’s chiropractor, Dr. Tom Mason, to hide
his face behind the cape, and pretend to be
Lugosi, except that Mason is a full head taller and
about 30 years younger. – But that is brilliant. That is thinking on your feet. – Sure. Anyway, also be on the lookout for two other
notable cast members, legendary horror host Vampira
as Lugosi’s undead bride or something, and the Swedish
super angel Tor Johnson, a huge wrestler
that Wood employs as Police Inspector
Clay in the film, whose lines are all
nearly unintelligible. Johnson got the lines because
Vampira refused to speak in the film after
seeing the script and someone had to
do the exposition. – Wow, what could this
film do to be even worse? – So much more. There’s the flamboyant
Bunny Breckinridge as the alien leader, reading
directly from the script, with regulars Conrad
Brooks and Paul Marco trying to do comic
relief unsuccessfully, the incredible use of
variations on the word “there” in one scene and some definite
gun-safety no-nos on display. Anyway, I guess we’re
watching this mess. For once, folks, I’m sorry. But sit back, relax, and
get ready as we bring you one of the worst films of all
time, Plan 9 from Outer Space here on Nightmare Theatre. (static) Greetings, my friend. We are
all interested in the future, for that is where you
and I are going to spend
the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future
events such as these will
affect you in the future. You are interested in the
unknown, the mysterious,
the unexplainable. That is why you are here.
And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the
full story of what happened
on that fateful day. We are giving you all the
evidence, based only on
the secret testimonies of the miserable
souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The
incidents, the places, my friend we cannot keep
this a secret any longer.
Let us punish the guilty, let us reward the
innocent. My friend, can your heart stand
the shocking facts
about – – grave robbers from
outer space?All of us on this earth, know
that there is a time to live,
and that there is a time to die,
yet death is always a shock
to those left behind.It is even more of a shock,
when death, the proud brother,
comes suddenly without warning.Just at sundown, a small group,gathered in silent prayer around
the newly-opened grave
of the beloved wife of an
elderly man.
Sundown of the day,yet also the sundown
of the old man’s heart,
for the shadows of grief
clouded his very reason.
The funeral over, the saddened
group left the graveside.
It was when the gravediggers
started their task
that strange things
began to take place.
Fifteen to four. Yup, right on schedule. There’s
the ol’ San Fernando Valley out there now.
– You better radio in for landing instructions, Danny.
– Right, Jeff. Burbank Tower, this is American
Flight 812, over. Wouldn’t surprise me any if he’s
asleep this time of the morning.American Flight 812, this is
Burbank Tower. If I were asleep
you’d never get on the ground!
Your case maybe I’d leave you
up there for good. Over.
You got me that time, Mac. This
American Flight 812 requesting –Burbank Tower to American
Flight 812, over.
Burbank Tower to American
Flight 812, over.
Holy mackerel! Burbank Tower to American
Flight 812, are you in trouble?
– Trouble ?
– Take a look for yourself. – What in the world…
– That’s nothing from this
world.Burbank Tower to American
Flight 812, are you in
trouble? Are you in trouble?
Mayday, mayday. Stand
by, Burbank Tower. Do you suppose the
passengers saw it? I doubt it. Most of them
are asleep. But it was quite
a jolt, Jeff. I’ll check. Good. We’ll get them ready
for landing. Keep it quiet
until we get instructions. – Right.
– Okay, Danny. American Flight 812 reporting
to Burbank Tower, over. D’you hear anything? I thought I did. Don’t like hearin’ noises.
‘Specially when there
ain’t s’posed to be any. Yeah, sorta spooky-like. Maybe we’re getting’ old. Whatever it is it’s gone now. That’s the best thing
for us too. Gone. Yeah, let’s go.The grief of his wife’s deathbecame greater and
greater agony.
The home they had so long
shared together, became a tomb.
A sweet memory of
her joyous living.
The sky to which she had
once looked, was now only a
covering for her dead body.
The ever-beautiful flowers she
had planted with her own hand,
became nothing more than the
lost roses of her cheeks.
Confused by his great loss,the old man left that home,
never to return again.
At the funeral of the old man,
unknown to his mour
ners,his dead wife was watching.– First his wife, then he.
– Tragic. Tell me something. Why was
his wife buried in the ground, and he sealed in a crypt? Something to do with family
tradition. – A superstition of some sort.
– Oh. Well, it’s getting’ dark.
Let’s be on our way.Then, as two of his mourners
left his final resting place.
(Screams)Minutes later, the police,
lead by Inspector Daniel Clay,
arrived at the scene.– Who found him ?
– The man and girl. Medical examiner been
’round yet? Just left. The morgue wagon oughta be
along most any time. – You get their statement?
– Yeah, much as we could.
They’re pretty scared. Finding a mess like this oughta
make anyone frightened. Have one of the boys take
the guy and the girl back
to town. You take charge. Okay Inspector.
What’re you gonna do? – Look around a little.
– Pretty dark out there. Once you get beyond those lights
you won’t be able to see your
hand in front of your face. I will get one of the
flashlights from the
patrol car. – You be careful Clay.
– I’m a big boy now, Johnny. Looks like a bobcat
tore into them. Yeah. Say Lieutenant, – d’you get that funny odor?
– How could I miss it ? (Siren in distance) Oh, that’ll be the
morgue wagon now. That’s the fifth siren
in the last hour. Oh, something’s happened
down at the cemetery. Lot of police cars and lights.
I stopped but I didn’t see
anything. Oh well, whatever it is,
the morning paper will
carry the whole story. You seem to still be
up there somewhere. Maybe I am. I don’t think I’ve ever seen
you in this mood before. I guess it’s because I’ve
never been in this mood before. Something about your flight ? Yeah. What happened, Jeff ? – I saw a flying saucer.
– A saucer ? You mean the kind
from up there? Yeah, or its counterpart. I was shaped like a huge cigar.
Dan and Edith saw it too. When it passed over, the
whole compartment lighted
up with a blinding glare. Then there was a tremendous
wind that practically
knocked us off our course. – Well did you report it?
– Yeah, radioed in immediately
and they said well keep it quiet until you land.
Then as soon as we landed,
big army brass grabbed us and made us swear to
secrecy about the whole thing. Oh, it burns me up. These
things have been seen for years.
They’re here, it’s a fact. And the public oughta
know about it. There must be something
more you can do about it. Oh no there isn’t. Oh,
but what’s the point
of making a fuss. Last night I saw a flying
object that couldn’t possibly
have been from this planet. But I can’t say a word.
I’m muzzled by army brass! I can’t even admit I
saw the thing! (Flying saucer whooshes by) (Flying saucer whooshes by) Sounds like Clay’s in trouble. (Clay screams) Bet that apparition we saw had
something to do with it. Come on. – Is he dead ?
– Yeah. He’s messed up as bad
as those two back there. S’pose that saucer or
whatever it was had
something to do with this? Your guess is as
good as mine, Larry. But one thing’s sure.
Inspector Clay is dead… …murdered…and
somebody’s responsible! You’re in charge
now, Lieutenant. – Yeah, guess I am. Kelton.
– Yes Sir ? Get back up to the car and
get on the radio. Tell the
coroner he’s gotta make
another trip out here. Well how ’bout the lab boys ? Well who do you think we
left back at the car, boy
scouts ? Come on, Larry. – Hello and welcome back
to Nightmare Theater. We hope your somehow enjoying
Plan 9 from Outer Space. – Hey, boss, are you
ready to have some fun? – No, I despise fun. Can’t you see I’m right in
the middle of something? – Oh, come on. Say, Boss, say, do
you like board games? – Not really. – Oh, of course you
do; everyone does. So let’s play everyone’s
favorite board game: Ed Wood’s Who Killed
Inspector Clay? Yes, Inspector Clay
is dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible. Its your job to find
out who done it, as you wander between
scenes on the game board that make little-to-no sense. It’ll be day one minute
and night one minute. As you try to win the
game, you and your family will be having fun
before you can say, – “Medical examiner
been ’round yet?” – Who Killed
Inspector Clay comes with all sorts of
bonus features. You’ll get character pieces. You’ll get a six-sided die. You’ll get plenty of stuff! – Does it come with
detailed rules? – Oh, no, this is by Ed Wood. Just make it up as you go along. I think it was the
younger, taller vampire. Hey, how did the
vampire become younger and taller between scenes? – That’s just how Ed Wood works. – I think it was the
vampire’s granddaughter, that lady in the tight
dress with the long nails. – El Sapo, that was his wife. – Oh, but that’s not all. Each set also comes
with an actual, loaded, unregistered,
untraceable gun, that you can used
as a head scratcher. You can use it to
point at people. The fun never stops. – Try to solve the
crime, but be careful. Don’t get turned
into a skeleton. – Oh, no, I been
muzzled by army brass! Back to square one. – Ball it up in Albuquerque;
advance two spaces. Children of all ages will love Ed Wood’s Who Killed
Inspector Clay? Available where all board
games, hair nets, canned hams, and 100-proof liquors are sold. And now, let’s get back
to Plan 9 from Outer Space here on Nightmare Theatre. Greater love hath no
man, than to lay down
his life for another. It is always difficult
to have last words over the grave of a
friend. And Inspector
Daniel Clay was a friend. A dear friend to me
and to all of us. The bell has rung
upon his great career. Now we lay him to rest. A rest
well deserved, but so premature.People turning south
from the freeway were
startled when they saw
flying saucers high over
Hollywood Boulevard.
There comes a time
in each man’s life,
when he can’t even
believe his own eye
s.Saucers seen over Hollywood!Flying saucers seen
over Washington DC!
The army convoy
moved into the field.
Rockets were quickly set up.Colonel Tom Edwards, in charge
of saucer field activities,
was to make the greatest
decision of his career.
He made that decision.Colonel Edwards gave
the signal to fire.
Then as swiftly as they
had come, they were gone.
Even to the piercing
eye of radar and the
speedin
g jet fighters. Quite a sight,
wasn’t it Sir. A sight I’d rather not
be seeing. Are you worried
about them Sir ? Well, they must have a
reason for their visits. Visits? Well that would indicate
visitors! Are big guns the usual way of
welcoming visitors? We haven’t always fired at them. For a time we tried to contact
them by radio, but no response. Then they attacked a town. A small town, I’ll admit. But
nevertheless a town of people. – People who died.
– I never heard about that Sir. Well, it was covered up by the
higher echelon. Take any fire, any earthquake,
any major disaster, then wonder.
Flying saucers, Captain, are still a rumour. Officially. Looks like we beat
them off again Sir. What do they want…where
are they from…where
are they going… They, Sir ? Who ? Oh, this is a training
manoeuver, Sir. We only
did a little practice
firing at the clouds. Yeah. I wonder what
their next move will be. (upbeat groovy rock music) So Lamont buys two coffins. Like two, I don’t know
if they’re used or what. He tries to bring
’em in the house. – Into Fred’s house? – Yeah, but Fred’s
not having any of it. It’s one of my favorite
plots of that whole… What? I don’t mean to interrupt
you, but we do have a segment we have to do here
for Nightmare Theatre. You know, this is the Curator. He runs the Merrill Movie
Musuem down here in the sub, sub, sub sub basement here at the
station and every week we’re gonna take a look
at a different prop from one of your favorite
movies or TV shows and maybe talk a little bit
about where it came from and how it was used, so,
take it away Curator. What have we got here? – Well today we have
the Auk 1 model rocket. This was from the
movie October Sky, directed by Joe Johnston. We actually obtained
this rocket, this was the only one
made for the film. We obtained it directly from
the director, Joe Johnson. He sold a number of his
personal memorabilia items off a few years ago and
we were lucky enough to obtain this and a few others. – So this was actually
used in the film and the actors in the film
interacted with it and– – [Curator] Yeah, so this was
a film about the early days of rocket science, it
starred Jake Gyllenhaal and Chris Cooper and they
did in fact touch this item. – So Jake Gyllenhaal
actually touched this item? – That’s right.
– And now I’ve touched it. So it’s like I’ve
touched him, sorta. – Well we’re not getting
another restraining order against you so
let’s not go there. So, now when you have
something like this that comes from a movie
set that’s been used in a movie and you’re gonna
keep it in the collection, how do you store it,
how do you protect it, how does that work? – Well it depends on the item. This particular item
is pretty sturdy. It’s made of metal, you
can kind of see the fins are welded on there. Just a little wooden tip to it. So you don’t have some of
the concerns you might have with something that’s more
delicate where you’d be worried about heat or UV rays. You wouldn’t wanna put it
directly in sunlight because you don’t wanna bleach
this paint job on here, that’s kind of
important to the item. But, you don’t have the
concerns where you would have about some other
items even where dust might be a problem. This one’s pretty displayable
just kind of on its own. – And who would have
made something like this? – Well in any film,
there’s a prop department that’s responsible for
building anything they need for the film, whether it be
something realistic like this, or something that’s
completely fanciful in a science fiction
or a horror movie. They have to be very imaginative
to come up with things that they can do out of
either found materials or just built from scratch to create what’s
needed for the film. – So while I’m sure
that a lot of the props in the movies that we show
here on Nightmare Theatre aren’t particularly
as good as this, let’s get back to the movie
and see what we can see.What will their next move be ?Your space commander
has returned from Earth. Send him in. You have your report ? We had to pull in here to Space
Station 7 for regeneration. We’re returning to the planet
Earth immediately thereafter. What progress has been made? We contacted government
officials. They refuse over existence. What plan will you follow now ? Plan 9. It’s been absolutely
impossible to work through
these Earth creatures. Their soul is too controlled. Plan 9…ah yes. Plan 9 deals with the resurrection
of the dead. Long-distance electrodes shot
into the pinion pituitary
glands of recent dead. Have you attempted any of
this plan as yet? Yes, Excellency. How successful has it been ? We have risen two so
far. We shall be just
as successful on more. The living…they have no
suspicion of your movements ? We had to dispose
of one policeman. However, none of those risen
have been seen. At least, not by
anyone who still remains alive. It’s too bad it must be handled
this way. However it must. Those who take from the
grave will lead the way
for our other operations. – Yes, Excellency.
– Continue on. Report to me in two Earth days. I feared His Excellency wouldn’t
take our report this well. Well had he been dealing
with our own people his
reaction would have been
completely different. He understands the
difficulties of the Earth race. What do you think will be
the next obstacle the Earth
people will put in our way? Well, as long as they can
think we’ll have our problems. But those whom we’re using
cannot think. They are the
dead. Brought to a simulated
life by our electrode guns. You know, it’s an interesting
think when you consider…the
Earth people, who can think, are so frightened by those
who cannot: the dead. Well our ship should
be regenerated. We
better get started. I still think you oughta go
in town and stay with your
mother until I get back. This is our home and nothing’s
going to take me from it. Besides, most men try
and keep their wives
from going home to Momma. – That’s not the point.
– That’s all the point
there’s going to be. Now toddle off and fly your
flying machine, Darling.
But if you see any more flying saucers, will
you tell them to pick
another house to buzz? Don’t worry about me. Oh you’re the only thing I
do worry about. Oh forget
about the flying saucers. They’re up there. But there’s
something in that cemetery, and that’s too
close for comfort. The saucers are up there.
And the cemetery’s out there. But I’ll be locked up
in there. Now off to
your wild blue yonders. You promise you’ll lock
the doors immediately ? I promise. Besides, I’ll be in
bed before half an hour is gone, – with your pillow beside me.
– My pillow ? Well, I have to have
something to keep me
company while you’re away. Sometimes in the night when
it does get a little lonely, I reach over and touch it,
then it doesn’t seem so lonely
anymore. A crazy kid. I do love you, Darlin’. – See you Thursday.
– Goodbye, Honey. You know I’m not leaving
here until you’re
locked safely inside. All right, Darling. If you’re especially nice I
may even lock the side door. And be sure you keep
the yard lights on. Say, do you want to learn more
about Nightmare Theatre? Why yes I sure do! Yeah, I wasn’t talking to you. Well folks, why not get on
the Information Superhighway and drive to Nightmare Theatre
dot com. Learn all about us! Email us your thoughts and views
on the show. Find out about upcoming events. Get yourself a copy of
El Sapo’s potato soup recipe! Want to know Mittens’
favorite band? Get online now! You can also email us at info
at Nightmare Theatre dot com. Don’t delay, write to us today,
we are just a click away! Who are you, Nipsey Russell?
Write to us, folks! You’re mighty silent
this trip, Jeff. You haven’t spoken ten
words since takeoff. I guess I’m preoccupied, Danny. We’ve got thirty-three
passengers back there that
have time to be preoccupied. Flying this flybird doesn’t
give you that opportunity. I guess you’re right, Danny. – Paula?
– Yeah. – There’s nothing wrong
between you two ?
– Oh no, nothing like that. Just that I’m worried, she being
there alone and those strange
things flying over the house, and those incidents in the
graveyard the past few days.
It’s just got me worried. Well, I haven’t figured out
those crazy skybirds yet but
I give you fifty to one odds the police have figured out
that cemetery thing by now. – I hope so. – If you’re really
that worried Jeff why don’t
you radio in and find out? Mac should be on duty
at the field by now.
He could call Paula and
relay the message to you. – Hi Edith. – Hi Silence.
I haven’t heard a word
from this end of the plane
since we left the field. Jeff’s been giving me himself
and me a study in silence. – You boys are’nt feudin’?
– Oh no Edie, nothing like that. Hey Edie, how about you and me
balling it up in Albuquerque ? Albuquerque ? Have you
read that flight schedule
Boy ? – What about it ? We land in Albuquerque
at 4 am. That’s strictly
a nine o’clock town. Well I know a friend
that’ll help us — – Let’s have a problem
first, huh Danny. – Ah
he’s worried about Paula. I read about that cemetery
business. I tried to get you kids to not buy too
near one of those things.
You’ll get there soon enough. He thought it’d be quiet
and peaceful there. No doubt about that.
It’s quiet alright, like a tomb. I’m sorry Jeff,
that was a bad joke. Say., I almost forgot what
I came in here for. How’s
the coffee situation? – Mmmm that’s for me.
– That sure wouldn’t
hurt anything, Edie. Okay, I’ll be right
back. And say Jeff, make
that call to your wife. Huh, not only will she throw
water on my Albuquerque plan
but now she’s repeating herself. – How ’bout that Albuquerque
ball ? – I can’t resist
your charm, Danny Boy. – Welcome back. Now listen, don’t
be upset if you’re finding this film
difficult to follow. I’ve been watchin’ the
movie along with you and for once, I’m as confused
as El Sapo is all the time. – Boss, I am glad
that we could connect on such a deep and
meaningful level. I appreciate you saying that! – (sigh) Anyway, the
only way we’re gonna get your questions about
this movie answered is to go straight to the source, the one man who has
all the answers. – Alex Trebek? But how is he gonna help us? – No, stupid, the one man
who knows and sees all. – Richard Simmons? – No, I’m talking about
Criswell, himself! – I don’t wanna be
a Negative Nancy, boss, but isn’t he dead? – Well, yes, but we
can get around that. I’m sending you and Mittens
over here to dig him up. Then I’m gonna send electrodes into his pineal and
pituitary glands. – Well, boss, not
to nitpick again, but we ain’t got a shovel. – Sapo, do I have to
do everything for you? Look at these claws! Mittens can dig. Now you two get going. – Come on, Mittens, let’s go. – Quickly, let’s
bring him back here! (sigh) While the
digger and the doofus go on a journey to
bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia, why
don’t you get back to Plan 9 from Outer Space
here on Nightmare Theatre?Residents near the cemetery
paid little attention
to the blast of thunder
and the flash of lightning.But from the blast,
arose the moving figure
of the dead old man.
Hello ? Who ? Mac ? Well, hi Mac ! Sure I’m all right. I just fell asleep. Tell Jeff I’m all right. Okay Mac. Thanks for
calling. Goodnight. Mrs. Trent! Mrs. Trent!
What’s wrong? They’ll be at the hatch
in a moment. You can
open it now, Tanna. Turn off the electrodes
quickly. They can’t tell
us from anyone else. It’s tough to find something
when you don’t know
what you’re looking for. I don’t think the
Lieutenant does either. Then what’re doing out here?
I was off duty an hour ago. Ah don’t ask me any
questions. I’m just a
hired hand just like you. What do you suppose
that noise was? Whatever it was it’s no more
strange than the other things
happening around this cemetery. Spirits like Old Farmer
Caulder talked about. Heh. Maybe. The only spirits he saw tonight
were those I smelled on his
breath. Well don’t forget Mrs.
Trent claims to have seen
them too. She didn’t have
anything on her breath. She was hysterical. Well true, she was frightened,
and in a state of shock. But, don’t forget that
torn nightgown and
the scratched feet. Yeah I hadn’t thought of
that. I guess that’s why
you’re a detective lieutenant and I’m still a uniformed cop. Sometimes it’s only
the breaks, Larry. In
the meantime let’s get- – Lieutenant, Lieutenant!
Did you hear that?
– How could we help it? – It sure was strange.
– Know what it was? – No more than you do.
– If it weren’t for orders I’d
get out of here right now. – It was a saucer.
– A flying saucer? What
makes you say that? You remember the noise we
heard the other night? We were knocked to the
ground, how could I forget? Exactly, but you’re not
remembering that sound. There you’re wrong, Lieutenant.
I’m with a fact the sound
is similar, but what about
the blinding light? Well haven’t you heard?
Many times a saucer
hasn’t had a glow, or a light of any kind for
that matter. That proves it. What next,
Lieutenant? Oh, Lieutenant – maybe
this doesn’t mean much, but, uh, Jamie and me
found a grave that looks
like it’s been busting into. – What ? Where ?
– Why uh why… Come on man out with it, we
haven’t got all day to waste. – Uh, just over there
beyond the crypt.
– All right, show us the way! Look, here it is Lieutenant. Ah it’s been broken
into all right. Strange. If someone had
broken in, the dirt should
be piled up here somewhere. It looks like it’s fallen
in into the grave. Larry, you’ll be out of that
uniform before you know it. – Do we have the right to
look down there Lieutenant?
– Ah, technically no. Well, this spot looks familiar,
though. We shouldn’t investigate
any further without the
permission of next of kin. – Let’s go get it !
– How? I see what you mean,
the gravestone’s down there. Well, let’s go down and
find out who’s grave it is. – How?
– By going down and finding out! Are you sure you mean that,
Lieutenant? If I didn’t mean it,
I wouldn’t have said it. Scared? Well, why do I always get
hooked up with these
spook details? Monsters, graves, bodies… Oh, all right. Casket’s here, but
nobody’s in it. Can you read the
name on the casket? It’s too dark.
Give me a flashlight. – How ’bout a match?
– We sure could try it.
Let me have them ! Okay! It’s Inspector Clay’s grave!
But he ain’t in it! (crickets) (wolves howling) – Come on, boy, he’s gotta
be around here somewhere. Did you hear anything? I thought I did. I don’t like hearing
noises, especially when there ain’t supposed to be any. Spooky-like. Let’s just get this done
and get back to the boss. (crickets) (thud) Welcome back. I’ve got a
special treat for you now. Shot in 1910 by the
Edison Studios, this is the first ever screen
adaptation of Mary Shelley’s
“Frankenstein”. Directed by J. Cyril Dawley, the production was designed
to de-emphasize the
horrific aspects, and focus on the story’s
mystical and psychological
elements. For many years it was
believed to be a lost film. A film collector in
Wisconsin purchased
a copy in the 1950s, but not realizing the
historical signficance, it sat in his collection
until the 1970s, when it
was rediscovered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy
the original “Frankenstein”, here on Nightmare Theatre. I’m Patricia Quinn. I’m Barry Bostwick. And I’m Nell Campbell. (together)
And you’re watching
Nightmare Theatre! But meanwhile, in the
Pentagon, in Washington DC… Right, G2… (knock on door) …come in ! Yes of course,
I’ll keep in touch. Come in, Colonel Edwards.
Close the door. At ease, Colonel. – Thank you, Sir.
– Sit down. I understand, Colonel,
you’ve been on tap for
many of our saucer attacks. I’m in charge of
field operations, Sir. You believe there are
such things as flying
saucers, Colonel? – Yessir.
– You’ve seen them ? Yessir. You realize there’s a
government directive stating
that there is no such
thing as a flying saucer? Yessir. Do you stand by your
statement that you’ve
seen flying saucers ? Well, uh… …yessir. This could mean a courtmartial.
Admitting this against
direct orders. General Roberts,
may I speak freely? – You may.
– How could I hope to hold
down my command if I didn’t believe in
what I saw and shot at? – I, uh, like you Colonel.
– Thank you, Sir. There are flying saucers. There’s no doubt they
are in our skies. They’ve
been there for some time. What’re we going
to do about them? – Who knows?
– Then, uh, they really are
there ? I thought you were
convinced of that! I am. We’ve had contact with them. – Contac? How?
– Radio. – They speak our language?
– Well not quite. We received messages from
their space ships. For a
while it came in as just
a lot of jumbled noise. And now, Sir? Well since they first uh tried
contact with us by radio, we’ve
developed a language computer. A machine that breaks down
any language to our own. General, uh, what’s this
all got to do with me? Well you’ve been in
charge of saucer field
activity for a long while. I think it’s about
time you heard these
recordings. Do you mind? Mind? Huh, I’m anxious!This is Eros, a space soldier
from a planet of your galaxy.
I fully realize our language
differences, however I also
know you finally have
perfected the dictorobitary,
or as you on Earth put it,
the language computer.
So you can now understand
that which I speak.
Since the beginning of
your time, we have been
far beyond your planet.
It has taken you centuries to
even grasp what we developed
eons of your years ago.
Do you still believe it
impossible we exist?
You didn’t actually think
you were the only inhabited
planet in the universe?
How can any race be so stupid ?Permit me to set your mind at
ease. We do not want to conquer
your planet. Only save it.
We could have destroyed it long
ago, if that had been our aim.
Our principal purpose
is friendly. I admit, we
have had to take certain
means which you might
refer to as criminal,
but that is because of your
big guns which have destroyed
some of our representatives.
If you persist in denying us
our landings, then we must
only accept that you do not
want us on friendly terms.
We then have no alternative
but to destroy you
before you destroy us.
With your ancient, juvenile
minds, you have developed
explosives too fast for
your minds to conceive
what you were doing.
You are on the verge of
destroying the entire universe.
We are part of that universe.This is our last –That’s the end of that
one. Atmospheric conditions
in outer space often
interfere with transmitting. How many of these recordings
do you have General? An even dozen up to now.
This was the last one. We
received it over a month ago. – Do you think they mean
business?
– We can’t afford to take any
chances. Come over here. You ever been to Hollywood? Oh a couple of times,
a few years ago. You’re going to be there in
the morning. Just a few minutes from
Hollywood, in the town of San
Fernando, reports have come in of saucers flying so
low the exhaust knocked
people to the ground. There have even been stated
claims of saucer landings. Major Carlson will replace
you while you’re out there. You’re the best man for the job
of attempting to contact them. Find them, Colonel. See what
in hell it is they want! All right, Sir. These are confidential
reports, Colonel. Read them
over carefully on the plane, turn them over to intelligence
when you get to Los Angeles.
They’ll have further
orders for disposition. Yessir. – Colonel Edwards ?
– Yessir ? – Good luck.
– Thank you, Sir. We are ready to
report, Excellency. – You are many days late.
– It was unavoidable. We tried to transmit
via televisor, but
atmospheric conditions made
transmission impossible. You should have transmitted
as soon as conditions
permitted. I thought time was of the
essence. Suspicion has fallen upon
our movements. Our ships
have been viewed near
the point of operations. And what has this extra
time gained, Eros? We have successfully risen
three of the dead ones. – Permit me to see one.
– Bring in the big one. Use your small electrode gun. I have taken two ships
from your command. But…that will leave
only my ship! It is necessary that you
continue your mission alone. I have need of your
other ships elsewhere. Even though you have risen
three of the Earth dead, the
plan is far from successful, and you Eros, must
prove it an operational
success before more time, energy, ships, and your
countrymen may be spent on it. We will not fail.
Everything is on our side. Not everything! You do not
have the live Earth people! You reported that your ship
was viewed at scene of your
present operations ? That is correct. They have been viewed
many times, but not at
the scene of operations. Something must be
done about that. Stop him Tanna! He’s
close enough! Turn off
your electrode gun! No! No! Stop him Tanna! – I can’t get it, it’s jammed!
– Stop him you fool! Drop the gun to the floor, Tann!
The metal will break contact! That was too close! Yes. Bring the giant here that I
may get a better look at him. Yes, he’s a fine specimen.
Are they all this
powerful on planet Earth ? This one is an
exception, Excellency. – What are the other two like?
– One is a woman, the other
an old man. – An old man, you say?
– Yes, Excellency. This gives me a plan.
Put the big one away. Pick up your electrode gun.
Make sure it’s in working order
before pointing it at him. Whatever made it jam must
have been cleared by the fall. Take him back to the ship. The old one must be sacrificed.
Re-land on Earth. Send the old one to
enter a dwelling. Then cut off the
electrokinetic and turn on
your ship’s decomposure ray. The result will astound those
watching. Astound them enough to
delay their attention until you have gained your other
recruits from the cemetery. Yes, Excellency. It’ll be done. Report to me when this
has been accomplished. Eros, the Earth people are
getting closer to that which
we fear. Since they will not listen
or respect our existence, they cannot help but believe
our powers when they see their
own dead walking ’round again, brought about by our
advancement in such things. As soon as you have enough
of the dead recruits, march them on the capitals
of the Earth, let nothing
stand in your way. Their own dead will be used to
make them accept our existence,
and believe in that fact. Well welcome back
to Nightmare Theatre. El Sapo, were you guys able
to find Criswell out there? – Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but you have no idea how many people named Criswell
are buried in that boneyard. We finally found the
right one, but bad news, I’m not sure what
happened, but only the brain and a hand was left. We put the brain in a jar. – Where did you find a
big jar in the cemetery? – Well you see, on the way,
we stopped at a gas station and bought a gallon of picked
eggs and I got a Yoo-hoo. I was gonna save you an
egg, but Mittens and I were so hungry, we ate them all. But then, we were able to use
the jar to put his brain in. That was a crazy
coincidence, wasn’t it? – Well that’s just great. So all you found was
his hand and his brain? – Well he had three
bucks in his pocket, but we needed that for
gas to get back home. – Wonderful, just wonderful. Well you have to work
with what you have. And brother, for
me that’s not much. Mittens, let me have that hand. – Come on boy, let him have it. I can always get
you another hand. We’ll go back to
the cemetery later. There’s plenty of
hands out there! – (sigh) Since all
I have is the brain, I guess I’m gonna have
to do this old school. First, let’s hook up the switch to the bendix spring and the
armature and then, all right. Connected and ready to receive. Now all I have to do
is flip this switch. (electricity) Should be getting
something here. (static) Here we go.
(electronic chirp) I think we’re getting a signal. (electronic chirping) – Greetings my friends. You are interested
in the unknown, the mysterious,
the unexplainable. That is why you are here… Wait, what’s going on? I thought I was dead. And why do I taste picked eggs? – Oh, well Mr. Criswell,
unfortunately, you are dead. And I’m sorry about
the pickled eggs. I brought you back because– – Because you are
interested in the future! And after all, the future
is where we all shall live, at least until August 18, 1999, when the black rainbow descends and all life on
Earth is destroyed. But, my friends, we have much to look foreward to
until that dark day. I predict that by
1975, the potato will have replaced the dollar
as America’s form of currency. Everyone will have
pockets full of potatoes, Idaho russets for small change and Yukon Golds for the
larger denominations. – (sigh) Well thank you
for that brilliant insight, but that’s not really why– – Furthermore, I
predict by 1970, a beloved television and
motion picture personality will enter the political
arena, rising swiftly through the ranks of
the Republican Party. He will become
governor of California, and finally, in
November of 1980, he will attain the
highest office in the land and be elected president
of United States. Of course, I’m referring
to F Troop’s Larry Storch. – (exhale) Well, Mr.
Criswell, thanks, but we don’t want a prediction. And by the way, it’s 2018. None of that stuff happened. We have a few questions
about a movie you were in: Plan 9 from Outer Space. – Ah ,yes! I remember that
film, my friends. Ed Wood, a brilliant filmmaker, perhaps history’s
greatest director! – Dang, we’re losing the signal. – I cannot hear you very well. You’re fading, but I still
taste the pickled eggs. – Drat, we’re gonna have
to do this old school and use some good old fashion
black magic to bring him back. Pass me that bowl
and my spell book. Let’s see. Yeah, that’s the book. Reviving long-dead TV psychics. Ah, here we go. One hand, one cheap suit,
one dollop of pomade, a jigger of bloated
self-importance. Mix thoroughly and let marinate. Okay, folks, while this
concoction comes together, let’s get back to Plan
9 from Outer Space here on Nightmare Theatre. (police car siren) Mr. and Mrs. Trent…
this is Colonel Edwards
from Washington DC. – Good evening, Colonel.
– Hello Colonel. The Colonel would like to
ask you a few questions. – Questions? What about,
Colonel?
– May I, uh, sit down? Oh, I’m sorry, please do. I want to ask you about
your strange experience
the other night, when you
saw the flying saucer. After that the police
brought me home. I hope I never see
such a sight again. Well after your description
I don’t think I’d want to
see it either. One thing more…after you
were forced to the ground
by that blast of wind, was it a hot or cold blast? It’s kind of hard to explain. It wasn’t hot, wasn’t cold, it
was just a terrific force. We
couldn’t get off the ground. The light blinded me so
badly I couldn’t see a thing. We could only feel the pressure
of the wind, until it was gone. When the glare left us,
we could see a glowing
ball disappearing off
in the distance. – Which way ?
– Toward the cemetery. This is the most fantastic
story I’ve ever heard. And every word of
it’s true, too. That’s the fantastic part of it. We found a lot of suspicious
things out in that cemetery. Then again, didn’t find anything
to base a fact or suspicion on. Hey, do you hear anything? (faint beeping sound) You see anything
out there Kelton ? Too dark, Lieutenant. But something’s started
stinking awful bad. (beeping sound continues) There’s something out there. (beeping sound increases) (electric sizzling sound) – What do you make of that?
– You got me ! It didn’t look
that way a minute ago. – What about your man?
– Oh, in the excitement
I forgot all about Kelton. Oh, he’ll be all right
in a few minutes. – Did you see that thing?
Did you get it ?
– We got it. What was it? It didn’t fall!
I fired every bullet I had! So did I. I don’t know what
it was or what happened, but unless that bag of bones
over there can reassemble itself, it’s
out of the running now. Colonel I’ve been out here
so often you’d think I’d
taken a lease on this place. Not a long lease, I hope. I see what you mean. But you
know, I can’t help but feel the
answer’s out here somewhere. Is the, uh, girl safe? Mrs. Trent you’d better stay
with the car. – Stay here alone?
Not on your life. Modern women… Yeah, they been that way all
down through the ages. Especially in a spot like this. – Kelton! -Yessir?
– Stay with Mrs. Trent. All right, Lieutenant. – Now you stay close to
the officer, Honey.
– I’d feel safer with you. (faint beeping sound) Now, the Lieutenant knows best. Oh I don’t like it, but I guess
isn’t much I can do about it. – You have a gun?
– No. Know how to use one? After four years in
the Marine Corps? – Here.
– You think we’ll need these? You can never tell.
Let’s get going. What do you expect to find
out here? Well there’s only one answer
to that Mr. Trent, we’ll know when we find it. Inspector Clay’s grave is
right over here. – Is that the one you told me
was broken into?
– Yes. – This it ?
– Yeah. Looks to me like someone had
broken out instead of in. – I figured that, but that’s
impossible!
– I wonder. Look, Colonel, some things
just can’t happen. Yeah, well after that
apparition that was draped
across Mr. Trent’s patio,
I would say we should keep
our minds open to anything. Look, Colonel, I’m a policeman.
I’ve got to deal in facts. But, I guess I’ll have to go
along with you. You know I bet
my badge right now we haven’t
seen the last of those weirdies. They’ll discover our ship soon. You going to let them find us? It’s the only way. These
are the same men who have
been so close so often. They must be halted before they
can inform others about us. – But there were others
in the car!
– They’ll be taken too. Send the big one to get the
girl and the policeman. I’ll
turn on the dictorobitary so
we may converse with them. You know, maybe we’re
barking up the wrong tree. One thing a policeman learns,
Mr. Trent, is patience. – Where the burned
spot you mentioned.
– Right over th…look! We’ll investigate,
but move carefully. A moment or two more,
and you will be the
first live Earth people ever to enter a celestial ship. Wow…boy, how could
anything that big hide
for so long a time? Never heard metal
sound like that before. – What do you see?
– Only my reflection. Must be
some kind of one-way glass. I wonder how you get into
this thing? I’m not sure I want to find out. They’re just outside. You can open the
outer hatch now. – You goin’ in that thing?
– That’s what we’re here for. I don’t know, the way these
things speed around we might
just get in there and pfft!
Off it goes. That’s a chance we take. Well, I took a chance on
those earlier airplanes. Might
just as well see what the
inside of one of these looks
like. Got your guns ready? I tell you one thing, if a
little green man jumps out at
me I’m shooting first and
asking questions later. (clock ticking) (ding) – That should do it. Any moment, now, we should be
joined by Criswell, himself and perhaps get some
clarity on what in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks
is goin’ on in this movie. – I sure hope so, ’cause my hea
hurts from watching this thing! (electronic woosh) – Greetings, my friends! You are all interested in
the plot of this movie. That is why you are here. – Yes, something like that. Let me ask you,
just what the heck was Ed Wood thinking
when he made this thing? I mean, what does it mean? – And now, for the first
time, we are bringing you the full story of what
happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you
all the evidence based only on the
secret testimony of the miserable
souls who survived this terrifying ordeal,
the incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep
this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty;
let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart
stand the shocking facts about grave robbers
from outer space? – Facts? Wow, we are gonna
get to the truth, just like in Al Capone’s Vault. Woo-hoo! – Yes, that is why we are here, and why you’re here,
for that matter. We wanna know how this movie
was made and what it all means! – Many scientists believe
that another world is watching us at this moment. We once laughed at the
horseless carriage, the airplane, the telephone,
the electric light, vitamins, radio,
and even television. And now some of us
laugh at outer space. – Wait, what? Listen, pal, I brought
you back for answers, not speaking your television
psychic mumbo jumbo. You’re not on the
Jack Paar Show. I want answers! – My friends, you have
seen this incident based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that
it didn’t happen? Perhaps, on your way home,
someone will pass you in the dark and you
will never know it, for they will be
from outer space. – Boss, aliens! Aliens! Ed Wood was a spaceman,
just like Alf! – I’m not sure who’s
got more wires loose, Sapo, you or this guy. Obviously something
went wrong with spell. This guy’s not
giving us anything. He has to go back. – Back? You mean back to the cemetery? – [Von Doren] Exactly. Klaatu barada nikto! Drizzle-drazzle-drozzle-drome, (low drone)
time for this one to go home!– God help us in the future!– He’s gone. – And good riddance. It pains me to say
it, but let’s get back to the conclusion of
Plan 9 from Outer Space here on Nightmare Theatre. (sob) They’re in the outer chamber
now. Eros, do we have to kill them? – Yes.
– It seems such a waste. Well wouldn’t it be better
to kill a few now than, with
their meddling, permit them to
destroy the entire universe? – You’re always right, Eros.
– Of course. But those are not my
words, those are the
words of the Ruler. Now you two stay right
where you’re at. We will do as you command.
For the moment. No for the moment about it.
You just do as I tell you. – You do not need guns.
– Maybe we think we do. They would be of no use
to you now. They’ve been mighty useful
before on flesh and blood,
and you two look like
you’ve got a lot of both. True, they would be effective
upon us. If you were to have
the opportunity to use them… Mister, if you don’t get
away from that control
board I’ll show you just
how effective they can be. Shall we talk now, or wait?
Your friends will be here
shortly. – What friends ?
– Those you left at the vehicle. – If you’ve done
anything to Paula…
– Take it easy Mr. Trent. Oh I assure you, no
harm has come to her.
Would you like to see? Next time you try that
I won’t aim at the board. You’re a headstrong young man. I was only going to turn
on the televisor so you
could see her movements. Go ahead, my friend,
but move very carefully. She’s only fainted. – You fiend!
– I? A fiend? I am a soldier of our planet! I? A fiend? We did not
come here as enemies. We came only with friendly
intentions. To talk.
To ask your aid. Our aid ? Yes. Your aid for the whole
universe. But your governments
of Earth refused even
to accept our existence. Even though you’ve seen
us, heard our messages, you
still refused to accept us. Why is it so important that
you want to contact the
governments of our Earth? Because of death. Because
all you of Earth are idiots! – Now you just hold on, Buster.
– No you hold on. First was your firecracker,
a harmless explosive.
Then your handgrenade. They began to kill your own
people a few at a time. Then
the bomb, then a larger bomb. Many people are killed at one
time. Then your scientists stumbled upon the atom
bomb. Split the atom. Then the hydrogen bomb,
where you actually
explode the air itself. Now you can bring the total
destruction of the entire
universe, served by our sun. The only explosion left
is the solaronite. – Why there’s no such thing.
– Perhaps to you. But we’ve known it for
centuries. Your scientists
will stumble upon it as
they have all the others. But the juvenile minds you
possess will not comprehend its
strength, until it’s too late. You’re way above our heads. The solaronite is a way
to explode the actual
particles of sunlight. Why that’s impossible. Even now, your scientists
are working on a way to
harness the sun’s rays. The rays of sunlight
are minute particles. Is it so far from your
imagination they cannot
do as I have suggested? Why a particle of sunlight
can’t even be seen or measured. Can you see or measure an
atom? Yet you can explode one. A ray of sunlight is
made up many atoms. So what if we do developed this
solaronite bomb? We’d be even
a stronger nation than now. Stronger. You see? You see?
Your stupid minds…stupid!
Stupid!! – That’s all I’m taking
from you !
– Get back here you fool! Let him finish. It’s because of men like you
that all must be destroyed. Headstrong, violent! No use
of the mind God gave you. You talk of God? You also think it
impossible that we, too,
might think of God? You, who wear the uniform of
your country. You see, I wear
the uniform of my country. Yes, we’ve had to use drastic
means to get to you, but
you left us no alternative. When you have the solaronite,
you have nothing. Nor, does the universe. You speak of solaronite,
but just what is it? Take a can of your gasoline. Say
this can of gasoline is the sun. Now you spread a thin
a line of it to a ball,
representing the Earth. Now, the gasoline represents
the sunlight, the sun particles. Here we saturate the ball with
the gasoline, the sunlight. Then we put a flame to the
ball. The flame will speedily
travel around the Earth, back along the line
of gasoline to can, or the sun itself. It will
explode this source, and spread to every place that
gasoline, our sunlight, touches. Explode the sunlight
here, Gentlemen, and you
explode the universe. Explode the sunlight here, and
a chain reaction will occur,
direct to the sun itself. And to all the planets
that sunlight touches. To every planet in the universe.
This why you must be stopped. This is why any means
must be used to stop you. In a friendly manner, or
as it seems, you want it. He’s mad! Mad? Is it mad that you destroy
other people to save yourselves? You have done this. Is it mad that one country
must destroy another
to save themselves? You have also done this. How
then is it mad that one planet must destroy another
that threatens the very
existence- That’s enough!! In my land, women
are for advancing the
race, not for fighting man’s battles. Life is not
so expansive on my planet. We don’t cling to it like you
do. Our entire aim is for the
development of our planet. – What happened to you?
– How come you’re all alone? – I asked for lots of help!
– You sounded drunk or
something on the radio. If I didn’t see it with my
own eyes I would never have
believed it! Believed what? It was horrible! And he
almost broke my shoulder! Look, what are you trying to
say? If you don’t make sense
we’ll never get to the bottom
of this. Now who slugged you? Inspector Clay. – What?
– It was Clay all right, only
not like we remembered him. Well his grave was
busted into, wasn’t it? Next you’ll tell me
you saw skeletons. – We did, earlier.
– Now I know you’re off
your rocker. All of us saw, the Lieutenant,
the Colonel, everybody! – Where’s the Lieutenant now?
– We’ve gotta find them. Mrs. Trent is gone! I was
left here to guard her.
Then Clay showed up and
put me out of the running. And the second time tonight and
I’m getting darned tired of it! – Which way were they going?
– Oh, that way. Come on ! Then one day it could all be
gone, in one big puff of smoke and ball of fire.
All that out there, the stars, the planets, all just an empty void. You two had better
come along with us. – Come with you? Where?
– The police station. So it seems you think
you have the upper hand. Look out there. Jeff. She is unharmed, but he would
kill in seconds if I so choose. Holy cow! Look there. – It’s Clay all right, there’s
no mistaking that.
– And he’s got Mrs. Trent! – Get your gun ready.
– From all I’ve seen tonight,
guns won’t do any good. Clay is dead, and we buried
him. How are we going to kill
somebody that’s already dead? Dead! And yet there he stands!
That other one earlier, I
emptied a full clip into him! I’m seeing it, that’s the only
reason I’m listening to you. Look, I’ve got an idea.
Hurt him or not, we’ve
got to try something. I’m going to sneak up behind
him and whop him over the head.
That oughta make him move. Follow me. Even when Clay
was alive he couldn’t run
fast enough to catch me, so when he does, you grab Mrs.
Trent and run like lightning
in the opposite direction. – Oh, you think it will work?
– Know anything else to try? Oh, I’ll be all right.
Take care of the others. Your men have felled
the big one. This could only happen because
the electrode ray is off. He’ll walk again
when I turn it on. Hold it, right there. Suppose the Lieutenant and
the others are in that thing! Well suppose there are martians
or something in there! Come on, let’s go. Open up in there, open up! – Get that door open.
– Colonel, I wouldn’t know
one switch from another. Hold on Eros, I’ll have the
ship in the air in a minute! Get out of here, Jeff!
The ship’s on fire! Eros! Eros, everything’s on fire!
Hurry, wake up Eros! Eros! Eros! Wake up,
wake up, Eros ! Oh, I wonder if that’s the
last we’ll see of them ? Perhaps, but sooner or
later there’ll be other. Look! Have they caught that
woman, that thing yet? Hey that’s right, there’s
another ghoul running loose. And it’s my guess that
she’ll look like him. With the ship and the ray gun
gone, they have no control. We got to hand it to
them though, they’re
far ahead from us. Fire! Eros! Wake up! (screams)My friends,you have seen this incident
based on sworn testimony.
Can you prove that it didn’t
happen? Perhaps on your way home,
someone will pass you in
the dark, and you will never know it, for
they will be from outer space. Many scientists believe
that another world is
watching us this moment. We once laughed at the
horseless carriage, the aeroplane, the telephone,
the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television ! And now some of us
laugh at outer space. God help us…in the future. – So the bomb would
blow up everything that the sunlight touched? How? – You know, that’s
a good question. But, yes, as I understand it, everything would
explode, just like everything this movie
touches is terrible. – At least the good
guys won, I think? – All you of Earth really are
idiots, stupid minds, stupid! Stupid just like this film! Anyway, we hope you enjoyed or at least survived Plan
9 from Outer Space. Until next time,
may all your dreams be nightmares.
(synth surf rock) I don’t even, I can’t even… – I don’t get it either, boss. I don’t get it. Did you get it, Mittens? (thunder clap) (synth surf rock) – Why do I still
taste pickled eggs?

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